BAD ROMANCE
AS WE ARRIVE AT THE SECOND DECADE OF THE NEW MILLENNIUM, AGENT2 ASKS WHETHER WE ARE STILL A NATION OF ROMANTICS, OR IF ROMANCE REALLY DID GO OUT WITH THE RECORD PLAYER.
There was once a time where the term ‘in a relationship’ meant more than just a Facebook status. Love letters were as eagerly anticipated as the text messages of today, and Valentine’s Day was not just about the number of cuddly toys to pass through Clintons’ front door in the run-up to February 14. But today, it seems as though romance might just be exclusive to the chocolate industry and cinema’s rom-coms.
The likes of Jennifer Aniston and Cameron Diaz continue to repeatedly meet their soulmates in the most charmingly imperfect of circumstances on the silver screen – but in real life, even these honey-haired, perfect-pinned goddesses remain happily single. What hope is there for the rest of us if even the Anistons and Diazes of the world are existing on a romance-free diet? Today we are living in a time of technological revolution yet sentimentally, it seems that if romance isn’t dead, then it certainly lies in an intensive care unit somewhere, currently unresponsive to treatment.
Don’t get me wrong, the concept of romance is still alive and if not kicking, still twitching. It’s just that the concept of modern-day romance is all wrong. The Oxford English dictionary offers up, ‘A pleasurable feeling of excitement and wonder associated with love’ as its number one definition for the term. At no point in that definition does it say that romance should mean flowers, massive cards and stuffed toys. But each year, the commercialisation of Valentine’s Day and, ultimately, of love has led us to believe that the concept is really about nothing more than the giving or receiving of this miserable trio of Hallmark-crafted goods. OK, maybe Hallmark don’t make flowers but surely at this rate it’s only a matter of time before they do.
Anyhow I digress. This was not intended to be a rant at the money-making aspect of one day in the year; rather an argument that maybe in these modern times, the main ingredient missing in the love potion is actually a little bit of creativity and… feeling? Romance at its best is spontaneous, fun and reciprocal. Ladies, you can hardly be complaining that your man doesn’t spoil you any more when he is the one having to spend all the moolah and put in all the effort to make you happy.
A while ago, while standing in the queue of a popular lingerie shop, I was eavesdropping on the conversation of two fellow shoppers (as you do). Clearly, the best friend of some misguided girl was instructing said girl’s boyfriend into exactly how he should be treating her, starting with which presents to buy her. “Last Christmas, my boyfriend only spent £700 on me,” she bleated. “I nearly dumped him.” The poor sod went green.
First of all, if true, let me be the first to tell this man to grow a pair: £700 in the midst of a global recession? Either he’s a famous footballer or he thinks that not spending all his money each time an annual celebration rolls round is akin to telling his beloved that he just doesn’t love her any more. And I’m pretty sure that the girl queuing behind me was not Coleen Rooney.
Clearly this young lady was not of the belief that it’s the thought that counts. For our male readers, let me assure you that this girl is in the minority. I truly believe that most of us would rather spend a special day with the boyfriend, doing something away from the regular constraints of courtship, than rummaging through his pockets to find the receipts of his tokens of love.
Moving away from the material, something that has been lost along the years is the old-fashioned ways of expressing blossoming relationships – yet the sentiments remain the same. Royal Mail is no longer inundated with love letters between sweethearts, but a simple Facebook message tends to cause just the same reaction.
A first date might now be a quickie (drink!) down the local as opposed to a candle-lit dinner and dance, but you can bet your bottom dollar that at least one half of the potential couple will have spent just as long getting ready for the hot date as their ancestors did. And while gentlemanly customs such as holding doors open for and kissing the hands of their ladies might now be scoffed at, it’s unlikely that you will find many women who don’t want their boyfriend to get down on one knee when they eventually propose.
The world is getting older, its human inhabitants are still evolving and social concepts like romance are always going to be changing. As cave people, it was probably once considered quite romantic to hold a lump of ice to the head of the woman you’d just clubbed. Perhaps one day we’ll sit in our deckchairs with our trousers rolled up to our knees watching the sea levels rise, reminiscing about the good old days of the social networking site where romance was just a click away. Just remember that no matter what the shop display window might be telling you, you really don’t need a big pink teddy bear and a 5-feet-by-3-feet card proclaiming its love to you, to know that someone cares about you. Really, you don’t.
Words Sian Ranscombe
